10 Reasons I’m Glad I’m Not A Perfect 10

Being gorgeous sounds pretty great. It sounds like exactly what a woman might want to be. When you’re gorgeous, the world is supposedly your oyster. Whatever that means. More like, the world is your lobster, because people want to buy you expensive stuff. But is being incredibly hot really all that it’s cracked up to be? I think not! You look shocked. But read on. I will give you 10 solid reasons why I’m glad I’m not a perfect 10.


1. There’s less pressure. I don’t have to worry about which big designer to model for or whether I want to focus more on my movie career or work to define myself as “more than just another pretty face.” Instead, I can write freelance pieces and a blog about body image! Phew. SO much easier.

2. I have room to grow. I’m like the girl in the movie who hasn’t gotten a makeover yet. Who knows what’s under these overalls and glasses? I do, and I’ll tell you: gray cotton underwear, a mismatching, four-year-old bra, and I don’t wear glasses. But seriously—I don’t try that hard. I like to be comfortable. And it’s totally possible, if somewhat unlikely, that if someday someone decides to give me a comprehensive makeover, I will emerge with … a nicer bra and more makeup! The point is, I’m not already stunning, but I’m not totally convinced I don’t have a germ of stunningness in me. That made it sound like an illness. I’m sorry, beautiful people.

3. When I look really hot, it’s a surprise. It’s like someone just gave me an awesome gift. I don’t take it for granted at all. I’m more like, “What did I do to deserve this? Someone get a camera! NOW. OK, I’m gonna take my clothes off and I want you to capture this—get my perfect legs in there, too. I am so blessed! Lord, you are indeed a generous God!” And then the next day, when I realize I’m still oddly shaped and have back fat, the photos must all be deleted except for one blurry one, which counts as art and hides my face. It’s more like “What the Lord giveth He taketh away.”

4. I am pretty sure my husband loves me for me. And not because I’m a supermodel. Because I’m not a supermodel.

5. I can eat more cake. My blog is called Eat the Damn Cake for a reason. I really believe in this. And because I’m not a perfect 10, which seems to generally involve thinness for some reason, I can eat more cake without worrying about destroying my perfection. Instead, my perfection is always changing and evolving, and also, it isn’t perfect at all. It’s more “innovative.” Or “gritty.” Or “believable.” When I gain weight, I don’t have to worry about ruining my image—instead, I can discover how I look with more curves. Verdict: happy! And possibly sexy as well.

6. Other women are never threatened by me. Instead, they take me under their wing and are like, “Aw, honey … Did your mom never teach you how to put on eyeliner? Do you need a lesson? Here, let’s just do that now, so you know how to be a woman.” I like this because my mom never taught me how to put on eyeliner and it seems scary to me, and I definitely need a lesson, because I might put out an eye otherwise.

7. I can turn invisible. It’s a superpower of the non-fantastically gorgeous. Now you see me, now you’re checking out that other girl on the subway instead, and I have vanished inside an invisibility cloak of ill-fitting jeans, bad hair, and a bulky, football sweatshirt. Which, honestly, is sometimes exactly what I want. It’s nice not to be on the spot all the time. I know I can dress up and get attention. But sometimes I’m just tired or really full or thinking about more important things, like whether Detective Beckett is EVER going to stop being such a pu**y (can you even call a woman that, or does it mean something else when you do?) and make out with Castle.

8. I can wear whatever I want. I don’t have a signature style, or certain clothes that are devastatingly gorgeous on me. So I experiment a lot. Red tights? Why not? It’s not like I have anything to lose. Parachute pants tucked into bright yellow rubber boots under a plaid tunic? LET’S DO IT!

9. I never get anything because of my looks. No one ever even thinks that. They always assume I’m hard-working and motivated and smart. Which I am! At least, I try to be. Because I can’t rely on my looks to get me that six-figure book deal. I have only these 10 fingers for typing and a brain that has concocted the best dystopian YA fantasy novel plot since The Hunger Games (big time literary agents, you should check this out) to rely on. And these Oreos, which fuel my creative process. I need those, too.

10. The people who think I’m beautiful think I’m really beautiful. They’re not just messin’ around. And because they think people who look like me are beautiful, they’re also the kind of people who are not into the gorgeous movie star look. They’re like, “Eh, Megan Fox … She’s kinda boring, don’t you think?” And I’m like, “No, she’s like a friggin’ goddess made out of perfection. How the hell are her boobs so big when her arms are so skinny?” And they’re like, “I like a woman with soft, squishy arms. It’s sexier.” And I’m like, “Whatever, you’re weird.” But actually, it’s great. Because I don’t have to be threatened by stunningly beautiful women. The people who are into them aren’t into me. The people who are into me aren’t into them. One time I dated a guy after I heard him discussing who was the hottest movie star with some other guys and then suddenly he pointed across the room at me and was like, “She’s hotter than Angelina Jolie.” I’m not gonna lie—it was one of my favorite things that’s ever happened to me. Maybe that’s sad. But I refuse to take it back.

 

How to Give Up Alcohol & Be Glad You Did

One needn't be a raging alcoholic in order to give up drinking. Alcohol contributes to a number of health problems, including strokes, heart condition, liver disease and excessive weight gain. In the most extreme cases, you may need to check into a rehabilitation clinic. They can help you handle the physical cravings and detoxification process that full-bore alcoholism entails. If things haven't progressed that far--and even if they have--you can still take a number of steps to quit drinking, which help you feel great in the process. 

Instructions:

1. Talk to your doctor before you stop drinking and ask him for advice. He can provide a schedule to taper off your alcohol intake and provide other health care tips to ensure that you don't endanger your health. He can also tell you whether you can reasonably quit alcohol on your own or if you may need help from a clinic or a 12-step program.

2. Clear out every bit of alcohol in your home, including bottles and cans. If you have cooking sherry or wine for recipes, switch to a non-alcoholic substitute. There's no sense in keeping temptation around.

3. Every time you think about buying alcohol, set the cost aside in a can or a large glass jar. At the end of a week (or a month depending on how often you drink), take that money and do something fun with it: a trip to an amusement park, a nice dinner or a present for yourself that you wouldn't ordinarily purchase. It demonstrates both how much the alcohol was costing you and all the fun things you were denying yourself by drinking. Make sure the purchase doesn't involve alcohol of course.

4. Identify problem points in your previous drinking habits--specific places or set times where you used to drink. Avoid those circumstances in the future. Stay away from the bar you used to go or have something fun planned for the time of day you used to take a drink, in order to take your mind off of it.

5. Take up a hobby or pastime that you've always wanted to try but never did. The time you spend on it can fill the time you used to spend on drinking. Exercise, in particular, is an excellent way to feel better and channel any agitation or nervous energy fostered by your quitting in a positive direction.

6. Develop a list of non-alcoholic beverages you can order in situations where you used to order alcohol. It can be soda, near beer, cranberry juice--anything works so long as you enjoy the taste and there's no booze in it. Water in particular is very useful in these circumstances: drink as much of it as you can. Once you have a taste for such drinks, you can still go out and have a good time without resorting to alcohol.

7. Remind yourself of all the good things in your life--your job, your family, your passions--and how you don't need alcohol to enjoy them. It helps you prioritize the truly important things and demonstrate just how marginal drinking is to quality of life.

Tips & Warnings

• Quitting drinking can be a big step, and in some cases it requires you to acknowledge that you have a problem first. Don't be afraid to confront that truth about yourself: it provides additional resolve to help you quit drinking. Speak to a local support group like Alcoholics Anonymous for further information on quitting drinking.

 

 

50 reasons to be glad you're pregnant

We all have moments when we think, "Never again!" during pregnancy. Perhaps morning sickness is making you miserable or you're 10 days overdue with not even a hint of a contraction. To remind you that being pregnant can be fun, we've rounded up some of the nice things about being an expectant mom.

And why not share the things that have made pregnancy wonderful for you - just scroll down to the comments box, below.

1. Relishing the early weeks when only you and your partner know your special secret.

2. Knowing you've got nine whole months to plan, dream and fantasize.

3. Choosing maternity clothes - they've never been more practical or more sexy.

4. Now you've got the perfect excuse to pamper yourself - spending hours in a scented bath, enjoying a massage or rubbing soothing lotions into your growing bump.

5. Maternity rights are getting better all the time. You'll be able to take paid leave from work when you have your baby.

6. You can join a pregnancy class and find a whole new bunch of friends.

7. For once in your life you need to get heavier - pregnancy is Nature's way of making you feel good about putting on weight.

8. If this is your first baby, enjoy the next nine months sleeping late at weekends. You won't get many chances later on!

9. At last you've got the bosom you've always wanted, which means you also have...

10. ...a great excuse to buy lots of pretty new bras...

11. ...and comfy nightwear!

12. At last you'll have something more than your roses and Choochie your dog to care for and nurture!

13. Suddenly you'll find you're getting lots of extra attention from parents, aunts and uncles, not to mention your partner.

14. You may find you develop a closer relationship with sisters, cousins or friends who are parents themselves. Congratulations, you've just won free admission to the parents' club!

15. Telling your mom, dad, sister, brother, aunt, and dog the good news and watching their faces light up.

16. New talents! Whether it's knitting bootees or making baby pillows, you'll suddenly find yourself trying out all sorts of new skills.

17. Suddenly you'll feel a new appreciation for your own mother and all she went through having you.

18. Decorating the nursery: one of the most exciting things you'll ever do.

19. Feeling those first fluttering kicks and thinking, "Is that what I think it is? Or is it just wind?"

20. Feeling OK for sending your partner out for pancit palabok followed by double-choc chip ice cream.

21. Your parents digging out your ages-old crib or stroller, which they've kept safely all this time "just in case."

22. Going for healthy walks with your partner and getting fresh air in your lungs because it's good for you and good for your baby.

23. Enjoying the extra-vivid dreams you get in late pregnancy - and laughing about them with your friends.

24. Feeling a little pair of heels prodding under your diaphragm and knowing you'll soon be meeting the little person they belong to!

25. Choosing baby clothes - or just browsing websites and planning what you're going to buy.

26. Writing a pregnancy diary for your baby to read in the future.

27. Getting someone to take photos of you smiling over your enormous bump so that, one day, you can look back and be amazed you were ever that size.

28. Finding out how many people there are out there ready to care for you: doctors, nurses, labor coaches, breastfeeding counselors...

29. Lying in bed with your partner's arms around you and your bump, knowing that love has created a new life.

30. Enjoying indulgences, such as evenings out, weekends away and anything else you might not be able to do so easily once your baby arrives.

31. Knowing that from now on, whatever happens, you'll never be bored again.

32. Making new friends whenever you go shopping - everyone has a pregnancy story to share.

33. You can spend whole evenings debating whether to call your baby Larissa or Sarah, Lester or Jerome... (don't forget to try our BabyCenter baby namer if you get stuck!)

34. Imagining what he or she will look like. Your beautiful almond eyes with the long lashes, of course, and his nose!

35. Dreaming about, "My daughter the president/pop star/brain surgeon."

36. Looking at your growing bump in the mirror and realizing there's a person in there!

37. Making out a squirmy outline on the ultrasound monitor. Asking for the pic to take home and pinning it up next to your work station, or just keeping it in your bag to sneak looks at.

38. The expression on your partner's face as he sees the test strip turn blue, looks at your growing bump or feels the baby kicking.

39. Buying that first little cuddly toy for your baby, not somebody else's.

40. Making that phone call to your partner to tell him that - we're off! - labor has started.

41. Trying out all those exercises you learned at prenatal class and finding out that they actually work!

42. Being held and supported throughout a contraction by your partner/nurse/labor companion and knowing that you can trust them totally.

43. Finding out, as the contractions get tough, that your vocabulary is far more extensive than you ever realized!

44. Making an informed choice about pain relief and finding that it's right for you at that stage in labor.

45. That huge rush of pleasure and relief when, suddenly, all the pain and effort stops.

46. Looking into your newborn's eyes and falling utterly in love.

47. Watching your partner hug the doctor, cleaning lady, delivery man and anyone else he can find because his joy and pride are overwhelming.

48. Opening a bottle of champagne to celebrate, whatever the time of day or night.

49. Making all those phone calls to announce the arrival. Telling everyone the news and hearing the excitement in their voices.

50. Waking up to see your baby sleeping next to you and thinking, "Wow! This is real. I'm a mom!"

Life: How to Be Glad in It 

What is there to rejoice about?

As I listen to the rote repetition of the verse, I imagine these thoughts flitting through the minds of those around me. I confess that some of these thoughts are occasionally mine. I think of another verse in the Bible.
“Jesus wept”. –John 11:35

I wonder if Jesus weeps when he hears the lack of appreciation for the gift of each day.
Where happiness lives
When something is automatic, like how we respond to the minister’s call, we often overlook it. I rarely, for example, pay attention to my breathing, hearing, seeing. I don’t give much thought to the sun’s daily circuit, or to the air, or to the lights that turn on at the flick of a switch, or the water that pours from the faucet, clean enough to drink, hot enough for a comfortable shower.

My daughter and I were sitting at the dining room table recently having a chat. She was bemoaning certain circumstances, feeling disappointed, frustrated, stuck. I whipped out my handy dandy little pie chart that I use in my discussion group, showing that only 10% of our happiness comes from our outer circumstances; 90% comes from inside us.

But how, she whined, do you get to that 90% when the 10% seems like everything?
Indeed.

How do we shift our perspective to our inner joy when those outer circumstances are so not to our liking? The key, I think, is in the psalmist’s verse.

The first sentence reminds us that every day is a gift from God. The Dalai Lama speaks about the precious gift of this human life. When I wished my friend a happy “special” birthday on his 70th birthday, he quipped that at his age, every birthday is special. Ask anyone who is dying, or who has been given another chance after a close brush with death, how they feel about each day.

The second sentence begins with the words “let us rejoice.” I think of life taking me by the shoulders with a gentle shake and grinning in my face. Wake up! Pay attention! This is a new day. How cool is that?!
My favorite part of the verse, though, is the last part, “be glad in it.” The verse doesn’t tell me to be glad “about it.” I don’t have to pretend to like circumstances I find unpleasant or distressing. The verse tells me to be glad “in it,” in the midst of whatever circumstances I find myself.

My gladness is not dependent on the circumstances. My gladness comes from recognizing the treasure I have been blessed with, the miracle of another day.

A simple way to find happiness

My daughter was not convinced. How, she asked, could she turn attention away from the situation that she kept obsessing over, that she wanted to be different? How could she escape the tyranny of that 10%?
I suggested a simple technique I’m sure many of you are familiar with. Can you list; I asked her, five things you are grateful for? As she did, I counted them off on my fingers. Her son, her family, sunshine (a rare sunny winter day in Portland!), going to school, her health. Keep going, I urged. She did.

I ran out of fingers and started over. As she started to hesitate, I started asking questions. Can you see? Can you walk? Do you have a home? Do you have enough food to eat? Do you have clothes? Does anyone love you? Do you love anyone?

After several rounds of fingers, she was smiling. I asked her how she felt when she thought about things to be grateful for. Happy, she said. She paused for a moment and said she didn’t think she would dwell anymore on what had been bothering her. She felt ready to move on.

Life is short, as some of us already know all too well, and all of us will learn in time. Every day is a day the Lord has made, the days of pleasure and the days of pain.

Let us rejoice in the gift of life and be glad in the blessings each day brings.

 

We attract more of what we focus on.  So why not focus more on celebrating other people’s good?  Not just politely or superficailly but genuinely, from your heart.

The more you look for great things that have happened to other’s the more of this good you are attracting to yourself.  We all like being around those who ‘cheer’ for others.  They make us feel good.

One way we can celebrate other’s good is by not stealing their limelight.  This is not the time to interject about ‘your story’. It’s time to keep quiet and bask in their good fortune.  Let other’s have their moment!